Hey there! Have you ever wondered why you’re instantly drawn to some people while others just don’t click with you? I mean, we’ve all met someone who seems perfect on paper, but for some reason, it’s just a big “meh.” And then there are those people who might not tick all the boxes, but something about them just makes you think, “Wow, I want to get to know YOU!”
What’s up with that? How does attraction even work? I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve done some digging—both through research and my own little Instagram study—and I’ve got some thoughts to share. Let’s dive in together and explore what makes us attractive to others (and ourselves!). Spoiler alert: it’s not just about genetics.
Looks Matter—Let’s Be Real:
First things first, let’s address the elephant in the room: looks do matter. Ignoring that fact won’t make it go away. Whether we like it or not, how we look affects almost every aspect of our lives—dating, work, even how strangers treat us. It’s called the halo effect: when we see someone attractive, we tend to assume they have other positive traits too. And let’s be honest, we all judge others based on appearance, even if we don’t want to admit it.
But here’s the good news: while genetics play a role, there’s so much more to attractiveness than just the symmetry of your face or the color of your eyes. A lot of it is within your control. Let’s break it down.
1. Dress to Impress (Yourself!):
In my Instagram study (which, by the way, had around 9,000 participants—not too shabby!), 73% of people said the way someone dresses affects their attractiveness. Only 10% said it doesn’t really matter. I’m with the 73%.
Here’s the deal: look clean, be clean, and show that you care about how you present yourself. That’s already a great start. Figure out what works for your body type, your colors, and your size. Wear clothes that fit the body you have now, not the one you wish you had. Highlight your strengths—whether it’s your shoulders, waist, or height. Everyone has something to work with!
I started upgrading my wardrobe little by little about a year ago, and let me tell you, the right outfit can completely change how you carry yourself. Some of my go-to staples? Leather jackets, maxi skirts, and jewelry. Speaking of jewelry, don’t underestimate the power of accessories. Even a simple bracelet or small earrings can elevate your look. Wrap yourself up like the gift you are and present it to the world!
2. Posture: Stand Tall, Feel Confident
I’ll probably mention posture in every video I ever make because it’s that important. Slouching changes the entire impression you give off. Standing tall not only makes you look more confident but also helps you feel more confident. Try this: film yourself slouching and then straighten up. Watch how your whole demeanor changes. It’s like magic.
3. Skin Care: Don’t Forget Your Lips!
Okay, this one’s obvious, but let’s talk about skin care. And for the love of all things holy, moisturize your lips. I always carry chapstick with me because I cannot stand dry, flaky lips. If I’m talking to someone with crusty lips, it’s all I can focus on. Trust me, it happens to the best of us, but don’t just let it slide. Take care of your skin—it’s your body’s largest organ, after all.
4. Hair: It’s a Game-Changer:
Your hair can completely transform your appearance. Seriously, it’s wild. When I straighten my hair, I feel like a teenage version of myself. But when I have wavy hair? Oh, it’s her. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different styles. I’ve tried shorter hair, and while it didn’t work for me, it might for you. The key is to find what makes you feel like your best self.
5. Health: It Shows
Attraction, at its core, is about signs of good health and good genes. So don’t overlook this one. Looking healthy, acting healthy, and being as healthy as you can—physically, mentally, emotionally—will naturally make you more attractive. Of course, this looks different for everyone, but the effort matters.
6. Confidence: The Ultimate Magnet
Confidence is universally attractive. It’s one of the most magnetic traits you can have. I’ve talked about confidence in other videos (I’ll link them below if you’re interested), but here’s the gist: we all have areas where we struggle, and building self-confidence is a journey. For me, therapy has been a game-changer. If you’re feeling stuck, consider reaching out to a therapist. I’ve partnered with BetterHelp for this video, and they’re an amazing resource for finding licensed therapists who can help you navigate your thoughts and challenges. Check them out if you’re curious—I’ll leave a link below.
7. Smell Good, Please:
This one’s a no-brainer, but let’s say it anyway: smell good. Shower, wear deodorant, and maybe a spritz of perfume or cologne if that’s your thing. Or just smell like nothing—that’s fine too. But please, don’t smell like you’ve been living in a cave with the Grinch. Hygiene matters.
8. Attitude: Keep It Positive:
A good attitude looks good on anyone, and a bad one will make anyone look bad. Negativity is unattractive—whether it’s complaining, gossiping, or having a victim mentality. I’m not talking about having an off day (we all have those), but chronic negativity can be a real turnoff. On the flip side, a joy for life is magnetic. It shows in the way you walk, talk, and carry yourself. If you feel good about yourself, it’ll shine through.
9. Humour: It’s Attractive
In my Instagram study, one word kept popping up: humour. People are drawn to those who can make them laugh, take a joke, and throw one back. Humour helps people feel relaxed and comfortable around you. It’s a big part of what makes someone attractive.
10. Mannerisms: Little Things Matter
Small gestures can say a lot about someone. Do they say “please” and “thank you”? Do they hold the door? Are they aware of their surroundings, or do they act like the world owes them something? It’s obvious which one’s more attractive. Little acts of kindness and awareness go a long way.
Final Thoughts:
So, there you have it—my take on what makes us attractive to others. It’s a mix of how we look, how we carry ourselves, and how we treat the people around us. I could go on and on about this (should I make a part two? Let me know in the comments!), but for now, I’ll leave you with this: present your best self to the world and to yourself. You’re worth it.
And hey, if you’re struggling with confidence or just need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. You’re not alone in this. Let’s build a community where we lift each other up and celebrate the best versions of ourselves.
What do you think? What makes someone attractive to you? Let’s chat in the comments! 💬